


Conversations at Night

by Astro_PNG



Category: Tetsuwan Atom | Astro Boy
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Agender Character, Bisexual Male Character, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Nightmares, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Pansexual Character, Trans Male Character, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 02:38:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16254980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astro_PNG/pseuds/Astro_PNG
Summary: Astro asks Reno out to a picnic at night where the two of them discuss something that's been on Astro's mind.





	Conversations at Night

Astro invited Reno to hang out around night time, bringing with them a small basket of foods and drinks to casually munch on while they picnicked together.

Reno had opted to drive over to Astro's house and pick them up since where they were headed wasn't so far away.

With a warm smile, Astro walked out the door and headed for his car, opening the passenger door and taking a seat in the car.

"You brought the stuff?" Reno asked.

"Mmmhmm!" Astro nodded, holding up the basket in their hand.

Reno nodded back and slowly pulled out of the driveway before heading off to where they were going.

The city at night was quite bright, but also chilly. Streetlights shined bright orange and with the windows down, they both could feel a draft coming through.

Highways with buildings and tall billboards slowly became rural areas with scattered houses, the only illumination now being the dispersed amount of stars in the sky.

It was a first for the both of them to go out at such a late time and to a place that obviously wasn't the typical Italian Garden™ (a popular place they enjoy eating at). They were both excited though, eagerly agreeing over the phone just a few hours earlier when the idea of leaving was just a mere concept in Astro's head.

They couldn't help but look out the window with a smile, but also a slight chill from the breeze.

Reno told himself if he ever got in front of the wheel, he would make it a point to keep his eyes on the road, no matter what. But, with no one in front or behind him, a quick gaze over at Astro wouldn't hurt, right?

…

No legit parking lot meant anywhere and everywhere was free game to park, so Reno pulled into the field and stopped not too long after, turning his car off and exiting the vehicle.

Astro followed suit and tried to catch up to him, still clinging onto the basket they brought.

"I think this is decent," Reno motioned to Astro to have them bring the basket over to him.

They finally caught up and handed the basket to him, he opened it up and pulled out the blanket that he was sure they would bring.

After setting up, they both sat down together. Reno had his arm draped around Astro's shoulder as they were nibbling on pieces of cheese.

"You want?" They offered.

"Sure." He opened his mouth to allow them to just throw the cheese in. He managed to catch it, and thus quickly shut his mouth and began chewing.

Astro chuckled and as they decided against eating another piece, they looked up at the sky.

They could see how dark it was and the little number of stars that were out, it was only the two of them there which made the experience all the more intimate.

But suddenly, this nagging figurative bug crept upon them, and a desire to speak on something they had kept hidden for a while was sparked.

Reno was lost in his own thoughts though, the more he chewed and eventually swallowed the cheese. He failed to even look over and see Astro contemplating about confessing.

"R–Reno…" Astro looked down.

Reno didn't respond, but played a little with a button on his shirt.

They sighed, perhaps this wasn't an appropriate time to bring up their issues.

Except… the issue… revolved around them.

"Reno?" Astro pressed him a second time.

"Oh–what?" Reno seemed startled, but tried to keep his composure as he looked over at them.

"I… umm…"

They looked up at the sky again, getting lost in its vastness for a moment.

"The… the real reason why I wanted to come out here was… I have something… to talk about…" They continued.

Reno tilted his head in confusion, but welcomed the conversation anyways.

"I… I've been having these…  _dreams_?  _Thoughts?_  I don't know the proper terminology– but… It's always around this idea that I have zero clues as to why I would come up with it! It's just… not like me…"

Suddenly, the investment was real and Astro's words became less casual.

"I keep thinking… what a world would be like… without you… or if I never… met you or-or… if I was with someone else– why would I want to  _be_  with someone else?! It–it–it makes no sense?! Or… a world where you just… didn't exist… Like why would I think that– I'm with  _you_  I thought… I didn't want it any other way..."

"So… why am I coming up with this? Am I trying to tell myself something? Do I not… want to... be with you anymore…?" They almost choked on the last few words.

"... And it's been keeping me up sometimes– I'm scared to say anything in fear of someone feeding into my anxiety, like I just want it to stop," tugging at Reno's shirt, it was obvious they were slipping into paranoia, as usual.

Reno looked away and gave some thought, "It's just… intrusive thinking…"

"Intrusive?"

"It's not real– well it is, but it's not– but it is. It's like… a stranger knocking at your door that you don't want to knock but is also making you fearful because they could potentially burn your entire house down because you won't answer."

"But… I don't want to answer– I don't even want them there in the first place!"

"And you have no control over that, but you can put your earphones on and tell yourself they won't burn your house down no matter how long you keep them waiting…" He finally looked over at Astro with a warm smile.

They sighed.

"Look, I know why you're thinking this– and it's completely okay, what's not okay is putting yourself down."

Astro was confused.

"You're thinking this because you don't think your good enough, or that I don't deserve you– so you put yourself into theoretical situations in which you are shown to not be enough or where I'm not there so you can't 'disappoint me'– but the truth is, you could never disappoint me and I really do think you are enough."

"It's really not healthy for you to put yourself down all the time– you have to have pride in yourself! You have to understand that you do in fact have worth, and that's not something to cast aside around other people. Your intrusive thoughts are allowing you to think you can't or don't love me because you don't love yourself."

They looked down for a moment before slowly nodding.

"You really are more than I could ever ask for, I mean you've been through everything with me! Even when I came out as trans, you made it a point to not let things get awkward like I assumed it would be and you know… as much as you helping me out has been great– I think you need to help yourself out," Reno reached over for Astro's hand.

"Do me that favor, okay? Please take care of yourself." He looked them in the eyes with a smile.

Their eyes almost watered as they agreed, slowly smiling with a sudden sniffle, "I–I… I really want to…"

"Then what's stopping you?! Trust me, I am 100% supportive of your journey– I'll be here! There's nothing to be afraid of when the only risk is delayed satisfaction."

"I mean I guess... It just… seems so daunting…"

"But, It doesn't have to be! There's no need to rush, it's not a race anyways– you take it one step at a time. Because I'm sure when you really build up your self-worth, those intrusive thoughts won't mean _shit_  to you anymore, I promise."

Astro happily sighed, "Thanks… I really needed to hear that," they looked over at Reno with yet another smile.

He pulled them in closer and kissed their cheek, "Who would I be if I didn't support you, hmm? I love you too much to just let you slip deeper into anxiety…"

They softly chuckled, "That you do… and I appreciate that, I almost… take it for granted sometimes or just let it be a thought on the backburner but… it's times like these where my feelings are brought to the forefront… and I like it."

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way… you uh… want to crack open the juice boxes?"

"Yeah."

xx


End file.
